Saturday, June 16, 2012

Stronger

I've come to realize that sometimes it takes living in a situation you wish you could run away from to really find out who you want to be and what you need to change. No matter how much you wish you could change your scenery and escape from all the things that are wrong, sometimes the only solution is to live through it and become stronger, even if it seems like each step is extremely minuscule. 

I've always been one to run away from a situation when it gets uncomfortable or there is a possibility of me getting hurt. But this summer has become the summer of sticking it out and learning to deal. It isn't always fun or easy and sometimes it feels like a punch in the stomach and you just have to eat ice cream and watch a chick flick and cry, but you just have to live through it. 

On the up side, other times, these feelings of discomfort can be empowering. It can be empowering to realize that you don't need to hold on or change or be someone you aren't in order to impress others. It can be empowering to rediscover yourself in little ways like realizing you've missed doing some of your favorite things because you were busy living the life you thought was best but wasn't. It can be empowering to do something well and be recognized for it, even if you don't feel like you need the recognition. It can be empowering to know you are strong enough to move on, even if it is only in little ways every day, week, and month. It can be empowering to meet new people and realize that there might even be someone else out there who will check 'yes' on the "Do you like me?" note you pass them durning sacrament meeting. 

I have to admit that Kelly Clarkson's What Doesn't Kill You (Makes You Stronger) is getting rather old as I flip through my radio stations and it is playing on three at the same time {what can I say, I'm a fan of variety}, but its message, no matter how cliched, is true. It is empowering.

Living without someone who had become your best friend and then disappointed you...

Being the bigger person and helping that same person out that you wish you could snub...

Learning to open up to people again even though you're afraid of getting hurt...

Trying new things that might scare you to death...

Being okay with being alone sometimes...

Changing the way you see others and the way you see the world around you...

Realizing that you shouldn't change for anyone, no matter what...

Learning to accept the past and try and find hope in the future...


Makes You Stronger.


And it is in these low points, where you feel like all you can do is slowly scratch and pull yourself up the walls of the pit you've dug for yourself, where true life altering change can happen to a persons character and soul. It is in these times of discontent that one may have to realize that: "There is no growth in a comfort zone and there is no comfort in a growth zone."

I know we all have some growing to do. That's why we're here, right? We can't expect to be able to do any of this growing if everything is always right all of the time. There has to be those scenes of rain and melancholy background music before the protagonists can find themselves and love at the end of their happily ever after. Love stories wouldn't be very fun to read if everything was always right. It is usually at the times of wrong where you really come to know the characters and are able to sympathize with them so that their triumph is that much sweeter. 

I know I'm probably preaching to the choir on this one and that anyone who is going through hard times or is just coming out of them already knows all of this and is probably tired of hearing it. I know I get that way when people try to pull the "It will all work out in the end" line. But no matter how much we wish we could just wallow in self-pity forever, change always comes. The sun always rises. New people will always show up and new beginnings are not always bad, and you know what? They might even make you stronger. :)

xoxo
C.R.M. 

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