Friday, May 31, 2013

Should Managers Provide Free Café Rio Lunches? [An essay by Chelsea and Cassi]

Today at work my coworker and I decided we wanted free lunch. My boss told us that in order for this to happen we had to convince him. He also said that food was more important than customers (in jest, but we took it as truth) so we wrote the following proposal to convince him using the 5 paragraph persuasive essay format from elementary school. Who knew it would actually become handy in real life? ;)

Have you ever been sitting at a lonely desk in a front office building when suddenly your stomach begins to speak to you?  There’s a solution for this problem that will be addressed in the following paragraphs and it begins with a tortilla and ends with a “Thank you for choosing Café Rio”. Café Rio should be purchased for hungry customer service employees because they are hungry and food is a basic human right, they are hard workers, and a dessert of choice will be provided for the supplier of the Café Rio.
First of all, food is a basic human right. Depriving employees by not supplying free lunch may cause such symptoms as hunger, fatigue, hallucinations, angry outburst at customers and bosses, an overall grumpy attitude, and in severe cases, death. When faced with the options of supplying the food or not, it appears that the choice should be an easy one. Some may say that only providing free Café Rio for customer service employees is unfair to the other works in the warehouse. But we disagree. The nuances of customer service lend these employees to hold a level of digression that would keep there from being any issues with the warehouse workers in question.
Along with saving your employees from a painful death of starvation, providing Café Rio will also show your employees that you appreciate their hard work and uplifting manners. As opposed to the side effects mentioned above from hunger, the side effects of supplying Café Rio for hard working employees are overflowing with positive outcomes such as: faster resolution to customer service issues, a more enjoyable demeanor, and a happy, satisfied stomach. Rewarding these employees will encourage the continuation of hard work and perseverance through the hard times on the front line of communication with angry customers. As Steve Maraboli said, “A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.”
Finally, there is the issue of compensation. No favor should be asked without a plan of action from the receiver of the favor to reciprocate the gift of Café Rio. A suitable plan of action is that a dessert of the manager or bosses choice be made by the customer service representatives. This will satisfy the sweet tooth of the receiver as well as bring joy to his stomach and joy to those he shares the gift with.  The manager’s happiness will also brighten the day of the customer service representatives, bringing the cycle full circle. Opening up the gift options by letting the manager choose the dessert also shows the maturity and dedication to excellence of the customer service representatives.
In conclusion there are many reasons why the customer service representatives should receive free Café Rio. The main reasons are, the provision of food is a basic human right, providing free lunch will reward them for their hard work and insure more hard work in the future, and compensation will be given by way of baked goods of the manager’s choice. So as you sit and read these words, think back on a time when you were hungry and your stomach began to speak to you. What is it saying to you now? Free Café Rio for the girls it is!


p.s. We got Cafe Rio. Success.  

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Of Drunkards and Graduates

I was about to type "what a weekend it's been!" and then I realized the weekend isn't even here yet...ha. I've been in weekend mode ever since Monday because of my three day work week (aka, pretty much the best thing that has happened this month) due to my little brother Forrest graduating from high school. I love that kid to death and I can't believe it's been three years since it was me singing in the choir and walking across that stage, letting my smile get more and more stiff the more pictures were taken. Strange.

On a different note, the thing I really wanted to write about tonight is something that I find interesting:  humans.

I have always been an avid people watcher (maybe this is why I love the city so much). More often than not, this ends with me laughing out loud to myself over someone's outfit, hairdo or overheard conversation. Now this may sound like I walk around, putting myself up on a pedestal and laughing at others eccentricities. But in reality, I just find the way that people express themselves so interesting. I constantly think to myself as I walk around a grocery store or downtown in City Creek: "What has lead that person or that one over there to get to this point in their life? How did they come to be here at this moment? And what made them decide to shave half of their hair off and dye the other half bright blue?!?"

I had one of these "why?!?" moments when I came home late this Monday night. I had just gotten done playing a grueling (yet amazing) 3 hours of ultimate frisbee and was ready to jump into bed and fall asleep before my head touched the pillow--as they say. I drove up the driveway that goes along the side of my apartment complex, said "hi" to the cat that is always sitting in one of the windowsills in a basement apartment (I have decided it is a her and every morning she's there she gets a "there's my kitty!" from my car. I'm cool like that.), rounded the corner into the parking lot behind the building and almost ran right over someone who was lying in the middle of the road at 12:30 at night. 

My first response?


Thought process:

They are clearly dead or dying. 
I've never seen a dead person before. 
This is why I've never gone to a viewing. 
Should I call 911?
What if another car turns the corner and actually runs them over? 
What if I would have run him over?
And what happened to them in the first place?
Was there a shooting? 
Overdose on drugs? 
Did they just pass out on their way to the door? 
What if they got knifed or something? 
The person could still be out there...waiting to attack me next. 
Why do I live in the city? 
Mom was right, there ARE creepy people in Salt Lake!

I quickly parked and turned off my car, ready to do my civic duty to try and help this poor person get to a hospital or at least get in touch with the police for them so they could get some help. I got out of my car and started walking over when two other guys stepped out from the shadows of the back door of the apartment building.

They pulled out a knife and...

Just kidding. There were no knives mom.

Just a LOT of alcohol.

The person lying on the ground started to moan as his friends walked over to him, "Idon'twannabehitbyacar, Idon'twannabehitbyacar, Idon'twannabehitbyacar." He was so drunk he couldn't stand up by himself and his friends were drunk enough that the only reaction they had to his impending death or maiming if a car wasn't paying attention when they turned the corner, was to laugh hysterically. I quickly walked past them rolling my eyes and lowering my heart rate.

This time my thought process:


This people watching experience did not leave me with such a positive sense of wonderment at the human race unfortunately. More, it cemented in my mind the fact that the decisions I have made with my life are good and will keep me from ever being in the predicament of not being able to control myself of my own free will.

We all have the choice to do what we want with our lives, but I guess I choose not to lie in the middle of the road begging my friends to stop me from getting run over.

I'll stick with keeping people entertained by my cat shirts and mustache necklaces.

But I guess to each his own!


Sunday, May 19, 2013

Best Thing Ever

Found this website where you can generate your name or sentences in a cat font. This may be what the font of the heaven's looks like! 


Friday, May 17, 2013

Summer Bucket List

A goal I made for myself last summer was to try as many new things as possible within the 3 months of freedom from homework and the grind of fitting in school, work and some semblance of a social life. Some first times from last summer included:
  • riding a scooter 
    • The motorized kind one step down from a motorcycle, not the razor kind freshman like to use as their main source of transportation on campus. The best part of this was that it was on the way to watch listen to a concert from a hill with a bunch of other hippies students. Very hipster. 
  • visiting Red Butte Gardens 
    • What a beautiful place. I would recommend it to anyone who is in the SLC area and hasn't been. Especially if you are a U student because you get in for freeeeeee!!! (name that movie)
  • trying sushi for the first time
    •  My friend and I went to a place in downtown Salt Lake where all the sushi is 1/2 off after 11 (happy hour). I had some sort of regular raw fish kind and the vegas roll (sushi that has been deep fried--the Americanized dessert-like kind). Guess which one was my favorite.
  • going fishing 
    • I'm proud to say that on one of our trips I caught the biggest fish of the group-let's hear it for the newbie!
  • gutting a fish 
    • I was surprisingly relatively undisgusted by this chore. I think it's mostly because fish are slimy and gross and I didn't feel bad cutting them in half. Now tell me to do the same thing to a quail or a bunny and I might just pass out. Or start to cry. Or both.
  • filleting a fish 
    • This came right after the gutting and was a lot less gross, but also a lot more difficult. I'm pretty sure most of the pieces I did were just that-in pieces. Like 50 of them.
  • getting my purse stolen
    • Okay, so this wasn't a first I was planning on experiencing, but has now instilled in me moments of terror every time I leave a location. I check about twenty or a hundred times just to make sure I have everything I came with. And yet I still leave things places. I believe every item or importance should come with a clicker like cars do so I can push a button and have them beep at me. Speaking of which I could use this for the before-mentioned car clicker on my keys sometimes. 
As Summer 2013 begins I've decided it's time for a new list of new things to try an accomplish is long past due (I mean, it's already been what, two weeks?)
  • go climbing
    • This was partially accomplished this Tuesday on a crazy free-climbing adventure I went on...more on that later. 
  • skydiving 
    • This was on last summers list and will probably once again not get accomplished, but one can dream, right? 
  • camping
    • This will probably be accomplished next weekend if I get up the gumption to actually join in on the Moab trip...
  • discover downtown
    • It's been a goal ever since I moved to SLC to take a Saturday and just walk around downtown Salt Lake. Go into all the little shops, eat somewhere new, get an awful farmers tan, you know, the works. 
  • go to the farmers market
    • I really should have gone before now...
  • try out the southbound Frontrunner
    • Having a car makes life so much easier, but the price of gas makes me want to curl up in a little ball and never leave the apartment. So I really might as well try this newfangled transportation option and see what all the hype is about.
  • enter a freelace design competition
    • I need to keep up my designing skills somehow this summer and why not have the chance to make boucoo bucks in the process??
  • go to one of the Twilight Concert Series shows
    • I still wish I would have gone and seen Iron and Wine when they came last year, but as usual, something came up. Therefore I would like to try out a new one this year. And yes I will be wearing a thrifted dress, my hair will have some resemblance to dreads and I will probably wear loafers. If you're gonna try and be hipster, you might as well go all the way. Oh, I will also bring a mason jar full of herbal tea to sip on during the show. 
  • go to a fire party and play my guitar
    • I'm still working on overcoming the fear of playing my guitar in front of others. Singing? Nobigdeal. Playing? Terror. But I have this romanticized picture of my playing and laughing and singing with other laughing, singing people all around a fire on a beach during the summer. Since I live in Utah and that is probably not going to change anytime soon, delete the beach part and that is the picture of a perfect summer night in my  head.
Well there are some of my goals for the summer--you guys have any crazy fun adventure suggestions I should add to the list?


p.s. To stick with the random cat theme (What can I say, I can't help it when I search for "bucket" online and get one with a cat. I have to use it.) here is a cat gif to make your day a little brighter :)

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Where the Journey Begins...

This Friday my friends and I that use to eat lunch together every Monday and Wednesday at the institute last semester got together for a beginning of summer/end of the school year bash. The night started tame enough but escalated to the point that we were rolling on the ground laughing over an advertisement of an RPod camper that was pinned on the fridge with the slogan "Where the Journey Begins..." we deemed this the theme of the night as we parted ways to experience the journey that this summer will take us on (I know, it was highly sappy and sentimental of us. In our defense it was 11:30 at night, some of us had been at it since 6 and our voices were actually hoarse from talking/laughing so much).

I don't think I have laughed as hard as I did that night in a very very long time. By the end of the night my cheeks and head hurt and it honestly felt like I had just gone and done a face work out...if that even exists. (Just remembered this video. Face workouts do exist. At least in the 80's.) If only I could actually lose pounds by sitting and eating donut pie, chicken salad sandwiches, and pasta salad. I'm pretty sure that would be heaven on earth.

We had planned on the night being an "Introduce those who have not seen Avatar the Aime series to these poor souls" (yes I am one of those poor souls, sue me) but in the end we opted for sitting around and talking all night instead.

We played a great game called Social Beach Ball (We gave it this name and decided we are all going to quit school to start our own company. We are going to make millions guys.) that is kind of like truth and dare with out the dare part. It's a great ice breaker game and got us all rolling on the funny comments. I was going to share some of them, but I'm pretty sure for most of them you had to be there.

One running joke of this group though has to do with the difference between boys and girls (I would say men and woman, but after deciding that our next party would be breakfast for dinner, Phineas and Ferb and a reading of There's a Wockit in my Pocket by Dr. Suess, we really are just boys and girls). Our friend Shane saw this motivational speaker on a YouTube video talking about men and women and the differences in the way they think. Let me give you a quick run down of this eye opening theory:

Men's brains are full of boxes. They can only take out one box at a time. There's the food box (claimed to be the biggest-some say it takes up over half of the brain cavity ;) ), the work box, the sleep box, the bacon box, etc. So when they are watching TV and they don't answer your question, it's because the sports box is out and their "mow the lawn" or "listen to my day" or "do you like the new curtains" box is not on center stage. And honestly there probably isn't even a box for that last question. In order for a new box to come out, the other box has to be put away. They also have this box called the "nothin' box".  And it's full of just that: nothing. So when you ask a man "what are you thinking about?" and they say nothing, there is no need to think they have some sort of ulterior motive or they are bored with you or your company, they are honestly just thinking of nothing. At all.

Now women, well, we are a little bit different (shocker, I know). Women's minds are like the Internet-everything is connected to everything and we have a million tabs open at once and nothing ever really turns off. Sometimes the system might get so jammed that a slack look goes on our face. This is called buffering. If you look closely you might be able to see our iris' spin like the pinwheel of death. ;)  This is why we are so good at working, checking a text, chewing bubble gum, walking (in heels mind you), talking about our cats and saving the world, all at the same time. This is also why we are so confused by the fact that men can have a "nothing" box. That fact does not compute and usually results in a blank white screen and the need for a reboot.

In the end we also decided this is why all Monks are men. As they sit and meditate in the cathedrals of the world, they can just pull out their handy dandy "nothin' box" and sit for hours. Women on the other hand would be crocheting blankets for the poor, writing their first novel on proper methods of meditation, and whispering about the latest church gossip "Did you hear? Sister Kathrine got a new robe today and it's blue. Not black, blue. I've heard they might make her read the book of Isaiah for the next month during scripture meditation as punishment. I think they should make her do it for two and not let her join in on choir practice. I mean, the audacity!" Had the scribing of books been left to the women to copy over for hours and hours we may not have the Bible today. Or it might have taken the other route and be twice as big as it is now because we just can't seem to leave anything out or throw anything away. Like the Rpod advertisement. And how sad the night would have been without a catch phrase.

The journey is just begining guys.

Hobey Ho let's go!


Thursday, May 9, 2013

I Guess I'm Deprived

Some of my coworkers are planning a camping trip to Moab over Memorial Day at the end of the month and have invited me to come along. At first thought it sounded like a blast: a chance to go to Arches again, get some sun, try not to come back looking like a lobster (you can get really sick of people trying to spread butter on you and crack open your shell), and jamming out to music road trip style. You know, the perfect summer vacation weekend trip. As I was contemplating again this morning the pros and cons of joining the trip, I realized something rather surprising:

I have only been "real" camping a handful of times and only twice that I can remember where it wasn't something church related where the leaders of my church group planned everything for us and supplied the important things like tents and marshmallows.

My family has never been the camping type or to be completely honest, the "let's-go-outside-in-the-mountains-and-have-family-bonding-experiences" type. For recreation we would rather go play a game of three on three basketball at the church (where my dad just stuffs everyone and we foul uncontrollably) or even better, watch BYU basketball on TV and dream about the Jimmer glory days.

We see hiking the "Y" in Provo as a challenge.

Going on a "bike ride" = a couple turns around the cul-de-sac.

Climbing is only mentioned when stairs are involved.

So what are the two camping experiences my family has had you might ask? Well, let me 'splain.

Trip One:

I honestly don't remember much of this experience. I was only 6 or 7 at the time, it was a ward camp-out, we probably ate some smores, pretty sure my mom didn't sleep at all, and I recall a lot of snoring. Not sure if the snoring was from my father or other ward members. Possibly both.

We also have some excellent home video footage of all of us wide awake in our tent at 11pm (my little brother and I can hardly hold in our excitement at the chance to sleep on cots, in a tent, in the mountains, which of course equals two wired children not even close to falling asleep), 1am (my little brother is asleep, I'm getting there and my mom has that "we are never doing this again" look in her eye and some awesome 80's inspired glasses adorning the look), and then somewhere around 3am (mom and dad are still awake, but to their relief I am sure, the kidos have drifted off to dreamland and my dad blinds my mom with the video camera light which results in much squinting and whispered complaints).

Trip Two:

I guess my mom and dad either had some sort of out of body experience that made them forget how horrible the first camping experience was, or decided to give camping the benefit of the doubt and accept it's request of a second date--"everyone deserves a second chance"--because when ward camp-out time rolled around, we were packing our sleeping bags. I had my baby bags full of enough toys to entertain myself for months, let alone two days and one night, my childhood innocence having masked just how uncomfortable those cots really were. 

I'm sure the majority of the first day went much like the year before: exploring, dinner, smores, campfire, bugs, bear sightings (I wish) and restless excitement when bedtime rolled around. There was also probably some snoring and blinding from the video camera lazer light.

But there was one difference: the rain.

And I'm not talking a soft sprinkling, I'm talking a wash-away-your-cat-down-the-gutter type of downpour. At one time in the past (stone age maybe?) our tent had been waterproofed, but needless to say any preemptive actions had long ago been washed away (pun intended). We didn't really understand just how bad the situation was until pools of rainwater started forming on top of our tent...and the dripping began. Then the rain came down and the floods came up and the bottom of our tent was starting to dampen our backsides. This was not good. In my 6 or 7 year old memories I imagine it looking something like this:

I believe (surprisingly enough) that I was asleep for most of the decision making period of what to do with a tent full of rainwater at 4 in the morning, but I remember being rudely awakened, told to grab whatever I didn't want to get wet, being wrapped in a blanket or sleeping bag and being carried to our minivan my dad had pulled up and parked (probably illegally) close to the campsite. My parents ran back and forth from the tent grabbing the essentials as if the rain was acid and anything left behind would be dust before we could retrieve it in the morning.
We waved goodbye to our tents, gunned the engine, and headed home in the downpour. I like to think that the other ward members woke up the next morning in their dry little tents and came out to see our abandoned campsite and panicked, thinking it must have been a bear attack that took us away. I mean, nothing else would make you leave a perfectly good campsite in the middle of the night, and abandon your tents right?

I guess my parents learned their lesson the second time because we have not joined in on a full fledged camping trip in the mountains ever since (at least that I can mom will probably remind me of some later that have been erased from my remembrance). I feel as if I can rightly blame my parents for my lack of interest and participation in anything that has to do with sleeping on the ground.

I guess you could call me deprived. But maybe I'm just lucky.


Wednesday, May 8, 2013

I Think I'm Getting Stupider

I know guys, it's been what, 4 months since I last posted? Pretty sad. Especially considering my last post was all about how I was going to be better about blogging. The only responses I have for that is the following: school and work. Which is translated to: the end to life. But guess what? It's SUMMER TIME BABY! And that means I get to make another whole-hearted attempt at blogging that may or may not die off by the end of the month as slowly and painfully as the cheese I threw away this morning that was so covered in mold I could have mistaken it for a mouse. But hey, at least I can say I tried.

Lately I have been inspired to write again because of this wonderfully hilarious blog called It Just Gets Stranger. If you have never read it, you really should. Like right now. I've spent many a minute being distracted by island adventures and rather spunky sense of humor that has me laughing in my swivel chair at work like a madwoman trying to hold it all in and make me look productive. It's made me think to myself

Funny things happen to me too! I'm calling my mom about them all the time! Why not put this writing bug that's gotten inside of me to good use and share the hilarity with others. Or at least try. 

So that's the plan folks :) I may or may not also include shameless plugs for my Etsy site: Stylish Stitchings and of course tutorials if I ever get around to sewing again (I have a mound of fabric the size of Mount Everest that is trying to be contained by boxes in my apartment and my room at home. It's almost as large as the pile of laundry that desperately needs cleaning.  Almost.)

So to start things off, a conversation today at work:

Ms. Wayne  (my roommate and coworker, she's practically married to Batman *cough* Bruce Wayne. No big deal.): I think we need to up the prices on the website so people will stop ordering. I keep getting emails from people who have never used the Internet.

Me: They say they have never used the computer before in their email?

Ms. Wayne: No, they just complain that they can't see their tracking information, I mean hello, it shipped two minutes ago!

Me: I'm sorry?

Ms. Wayne: It's not your fault. I just feel stupider by the second! Is stupider even a word? See! They are already working on me!

Me: At least you have a job!

30 minutes later

Ms. Wayne: I'm nervous to pee.

Me: Why??

Ms. Wayne: It's dark and scary outside!! So I'm nervous!

Me: And going to the bathroom is related to how dark it is outside?

Ms. Wayne: YES!

Me: Ain't nobody got time for that.