Saturday, March 31, 2012

Shopping Justified

Breaking up and dealing with the heartache is never a fun experience. Anyone who thinks otherwise has a twisted personal gauge of “fun”. Coping with matters of the heart, especially when it is your heart that has been broken (in other words you’re the dumpee, not the dumper), can be a very touchy and personal experience. Everyone deals with pain in different ways. I don’t know anything about the way guys’ brains work, so I will not try to pretend to know how they deal, but I have become very well acquainted with how girls handle breakups. Some drown their sorrows in chocolate, others in greasy food like french fries and hamburgers.

Others torture themselves by watching chick flick after chick flick and wondering why their lives can’t work out like the fictional characters in the films.

Although these methods of dealing with the hurt can be effective in short bursts, there is a better way: shopping. Going on a shopping spree after a breakup is the best thing you can do to realign your life because it is less detrimental to your figure and social life than food and movies, it gives you a sense of control, and it helps you realize your true beauty, something that is so easy to forget.
While eating an entire bag of Dove chocolates might make you feel better for an hour or so, give it some time and your stomach will start to protest. Keep this practice up and not only will your stomach feel the strain, but so will your pants as they try to stay buttoned. Every girl needs some chocolate on occasion, but when it comes to feeling lasting results, it’s not the way to go. Shopping and fashion, on the other hand, will only make your figure look better, give you a chance to don a pair of heels, help you get some exercise as you walk around the mall, and fill your arms with shopping bags. Shopping also gives you the opportunity to get out of the house and be social instead of popping in another Nicholas Sparks tearjerker movie adaptation. The only thing that could suffer from this mode of coping is your pocketbook. But as long as you know what your budget is, write it up as an emotional need, and shop the sales, you’ll be just fine.
One of the hardest things about breaking up is the feeling that you lack control of your life. No matter how long you and your significant other were together, the sense of loss from no longer having him around can rock your perfect world in ways you can’t imagine until it happens. Everything seems out of place, and a hole is left where there use to be someone you could always turn to. The only way to regain balance is by focusing on the things you can control in your life. One of those things is the way you look and the way you dress. Get out of your sloppy tear stained pajamas and sweats and show the world the girl you want to become. You have control over what you wear and how fantastic you look everyday. You might not be able to force yourself to be happy and be okay, but you can control the way you look and the way you hold yourself. So go forward with confidence when you put on your new pair of hot pink skinny jeans.

The most important thing that a shopping spree and fashion can do for you in this time of discomfort and gloom is to help you realize that you are beautiful. When someone tells you they no longer want to be with you, it is easy to put all the blame on yourself. You suddenly start thinking of all the things that must be wrong with you that pushed him away. You tell yourself that, if you were prettier, he would have stayed. This is not true. You are beautiful inside and out and letting yourself get all dolled up (even if you have no where to go) can help you remember this. Another great thing about a shopping spree is that it is so much more enjoyable with friends. Take your best girlfriends with you to encourage you and give you the positive feedback you are lacking. Instead of crawling into a hole, becoming a nun, or hiding behind sunglasses and sweats, show him what he’s missing out on. Let the world know that you don’t need anyone to tell you you’re beautiful because you already know you are.
Healing a broken heart takes time and strength, but relying on something other than food and chick flicks to help you gain control and remind yourself of your beauty can help speed up the process. I understand that shopping and fashion might be some people’s worst nightmare, but just being yourself and getting back into the swing of life (like you can do by expanding your wardrobe) is important for everyone as they try to overcome the pain. Keep your chin up and know if you’ve hit rock bottom, it can only be up from here!



  1. Nice blog. You might like this poem about matters of the heart.