New Beginnings

As my life has taken some new turns and twists that weren't expected or planned and as I have been able to make some definite decisions about my future, my mind has been dwelling on the thoughts of a "new beginning" or starting over from scratch. This probably also has to do with the fact that spring has started to show its colors and the new growth that is happening all around me has inspired me to try to grow and change for the better.

There is something truly liberating about letting everything go and searching your soul to find the new you, which in my opinion is the real you. Sometimes we let other people stifle who we really are in order to please them or apear more compatible or likable. I'm not saying that compromise isn't important, but sometimes I think we compromise ourselves a little bit too much.

I have found there are some things about the real me that I have forgotten until recently and need a place in my new beginning:

• Rediscovered Love: Mustaches.

My mustache necklace is one of my all time favorite things and I wear it with pride. I even have a board soley dedicated to them on Pintrest.

*Note: Though I do love mustache merchandise, I am not a fan of facial hair. At all. Yuck. I can sometimes do a little bit of scruff on dark haired guys, but I prefer clean shaven men!

• Newfound Obsession: City Creek. 

I have been three times already and I am looking forward to many more trips. The ambiance is gorgeous, the architecture amazing and the people watching superb. Sometimes it's just nice to walk around a busy place all alone, but surrounded by people. It is strangely therapeutic. Also, H&M, Forever 21 and Love Culture are going to be the source of much of my wardrobe from here on out.

• New Music NEED: Rascal Flatts' new CD Changed

I know almost every Rascal Flatts song by heart and I own every one of their CDs. Hence why I need this new one as soon as possible so I can also drive until I hear banjos!

• New Hair: Aline Bob.

I have always had this strange desire to chop my hair after a break-up or falling out with a boy. The urge usually surges uncontrollably when my emotions are wacked, but through the encouragement of friends and family I have never done anything drastic. But this time, there was no stopping me. I have been growing out my hair for a few years now and have debated about cutting it on and off for the past few months. When I had yet another "talk" about being "just friends" with a guy I had fallen head over heels for, I decided the time had come.

It was time for something drastic. 

I had nightmares of waking up and hating what I had done and crying over the loss of my longish hair (long for me at least) and the ability to stack it on top of my head in a messy bun. 

No such thing. I love it, it loves me, and I feel empowered. 

• Newfound Hobby: Blogging.

I never thought I would find sharing my random musings so enjoyable. Remember when you first got Facebook and you caught yourself thinking in possible status updates? (And let's be honest, we still do sometimes.) Well, now I have found myself thinking in possible blog posts! So hopefully I'll be able to keep them rolling! :)

• New Music Love: "Paperweight" by Joshua Radin and Schuyler Fisk Pandora Station.

I already knew I was in love with Joshua Radin, but put him and Schuyler Fisk together and you have one amazing song. The Pandora station? Even better. Go listen to it. Now.

*Note: I also have this strange love of sad movies. Like Dear John. So good. And Channing Tatum? Beautiful.

I am also rediscovering my love of alternative/singer songwriter music. I just love the intricacy and sometimes randomness of the lyrics.

• New Playlist: Girl Power. 

Along with my love of Pandora, I also am obsessed with making new playlists of all my music on iTunes. I own a LOT of music and the only way I will hear the songs I like and the current favorites is by making playlists. So lately I have been in need of girl power songs that will lift me up and keep me out of the depths of despair (to be melodramatic).

Current favorites:

Consider Me Gone-Reba

In Terms of Love-SheDaisy

Pieces-Rascal Flatts
Leave the Pieces-The Wreakers
Gonna Get Over You-Sara Bareilles
Red High Heels-Kelly Pickler
Hold On-Willson Phillips
The Sun Will Rise-Kelly Clarkson
One Day You Will-Lady Antebellum
Loser Like You-Glee
No Reins-Rascal Flatts
Quittin' You-The Band Perry
Do You Know?-Enrique Iglesias

• Rediscovered Hobby: Fashion.

I love...
Colored jeans
Sparkles
Dark/Bright lipstick
Bright colors
The color mustard
Hot pink anything
Crazy styles most people are too afraid to try

• New Lifetime Joy: Graphic Design.

Getting into my program was one of the best things that has happened to me in a long time. I am so thankful that I was able to get in and that I get to start taking classes that will lead me to a carrer that I know I will love and that it gives me the opportunity to stay in Salt Lake City with the roomies that I love. They are my second family!

Sorry this post is so long, but I had to get it all down and realize I have so much to be thankful for in this life! My heart may be broken, but I know where the pieces are and I can pick them up with the Savior's help and the help of the amazing people that surround me in my life.

Here's to moving on.
Here's to letting go.
Here's to new beginnings.
Hobey Ho Let's Go.

xoxo
CRM

Shopping Justified

Breaking up and dealing with the heartache is never a fun experience. Anyone who thinks otherwise has a twisted personal gauge of “fun”. Coping with matters of the heart, especially when it is your heart that has been broken (in other words you’re the dumpee, not the dumper), can be a very touchy and personal experience. Everyone deals with pain in different ways. I don’t know anything about the way guys’ brains work, so I will not try to pretend to know how they deal, but I have become very well acquainted with how girls handle breakups. Some drown their sorrows in chocolate, others in greasy food like french fries and hamburgers.

Others torture themselves by watching chick flick after chick flick and wondering why their lives can’t work out like the fictional characters in the films.

Although these methods of dealing with the hurt can be effective in short bursts, there is a better way: shopping. Going on a shopping spree after a breakup is the best thing you can do to realign your life because it is less detrimental to your figure and social life than food and movies, it gives you a sense of control, and it helps you realize your true beauty, something that is so easy to forget.

While eating an entire bag of Dove chocolates might make you feel better for an hour or so, give it some time and your stomach will start to protest. Keep this practice up and not only will your stomach feel the strain, but so will your pants as they try to stay buttoned. Every girl needs some chocolate on occasion, but when it comes to feeling lasting results, it’s not the way to go. Shopping and fashion, on the other hand, will only make your figure look better, give you a chance to don a pair of heels, help you get some exercise as you walk around the mall, and fill your arms with shopping bags. Shopping also gives you the opportunity to get out of the house and be social instead of popping in another Nicholas Sparks tearjerker movie adaptation. The only thing that could suffer from this mode of coping is your pocketbook. But as long as you know what your budget is, write it up as an emotional need, and shop the sales, you’ll be just fine.

One of the hardest things about breaking up is the feeling that you lack control of your life. No matter how long you and your significant other were together, the sense of loss from no longer having him around can rock your perfect world in ways you can’t imagine until it happens. Everything seems out of place, and a hole is left where there use to be someone you could always turn to. The only way to regain balance is by focusing on the things you can control in your life. One of those things is the way you look and the way you dress. Get out of your sloppy tear stained pajamas and sweats and show the world the girl you want to become. You have control over what you wear and how fantastic you look everyday. You might not be able to force yourself to be happy and be okay, but you can control the way you look and the way you hold yourself. So go forward with confidence when you put on your new pair of hot pink skinny jeans.

The most important thing that a shopping spree and fashion can do for you in this time of discomfort and gloom is to help you realize that you are beautiful. When someone tells you they no longer want to be with you, it is easy to put all the blame on yourself. You suddenly start thinking of all the things that must be wrong with you that pushed him away. You tell yourself that, if you were prettier, he would have stayed. This is not true. You are beautiful inside and out and letting yourself get all dolled up (even if you have no where to go) can help you remember this. Another great thing about a shopping spree is that it is so much more enjoyable with friends. Take your best girlfriends with you to encourage you and give you the positive feedback you are lacking. Instead of crawling into a hole, becoming a nun, or hiding behind sunglasses and sweats, show him what he’s missing out on. Let the world know that you don’t need anyone to tell you you’re beautiful because you already know you are.

 

Healing a broken heart takes time and strength, but relying on something other than food and chick flicks to help you gain control and remind yourself of your beauty can help speed up the process. I understand that shopping and fashion might be some people’s worst nightmare, but just being yourself and getting back into the swing of life (like you can do by expanding your wardrobe) is important for everyone as they try to overcome the pain. Keep your chin up and know if you’ve hit rock bottom, it can only be up from here!

xoxo
CRM